My Zebra Mentor

Having someone see in you what you can't see in yourself is something that can change your entire life.

That's what happened to me. Before I met my Zebra Mentor (who I won't name for the sake of her privacy), I really didn't like myself. Sometimes, I look back at old Facebook memories and, similar to many adults looking back on their teen years, I cringe.

The reason I cringe is different than most, though. I cringe because the things I said were from a place of deep insecurity, masking and doing what I thought was the normal thing to do.

Coming out of High school, what I thought it meant to be accepted, to be funny and someone fun to be around was to be mean.

I NEVER thought I was being insufferable at the time, but I know now. I was copying the people around me. I was usually the target for the jokes from my friends, (which I'd then pass on to the next unlucky person) and suffering major levels of identity fatigue.

The meanness thankfully disappeared pretty quickly once I entered college and realized that it wasn't funny, it was just yucky. But, I still didn't like myself.

And then I met K.

K read to me from the rulebook that I always felt like I'd never received as an ND person. Interestingly enough, she herself is also a late-diagnosed Zebra, but she raw-dogged it through life and learned the rules the hard way.

She told me the unspoken rules of office politics, professionalism (by the way, let's stop assuming that everyone is born knowing what it means to be 'professional') and what it means to be a true leader.

Some people are of the attitude "I suffered, so you should, too", but not K. She embraces "I suffered, so I don't want you to have to". And boy, did she suffer.

I've never seen someone with the level of integrity this person has, and I aspire to ALWAYS be the same. I hope to be the person who will pay the price for integrity, even if the cost is enormous.

When I started working for her, she saw me for who I am. She recognized the strengths that I either 1) didn't know I had or 2) didn't believe they were strengths. Not just for me, by the way. This is her spirit for everyone. K nurtured those strengths and encouraged me to ask for help with the things that aren't my strongest suit (ahem, Excel spreadsheets...). Everyone has their own genius, and what I am terrible at, others are not. Two promotions and a massive rebranding project later, she helped me find the confidence in myself to open Iron & Ember, which I hope that one day she will be a major part of.

Why I write this is two-fold:

1) To write about the importance of mentorship for everyone (not just ND individuals)

2) To scream my love and appreciation for K from the mountain tops

It is my goal as a coach and mentor to provide the same level of support, celebration and ass-kicking as necessary to help others find their way.

I promise to help you like yourself the way K did for me.

Alex Knight

President & Neurodiversity Specialist

Iron & Ember Consulting

Written without AI